The Secret Leadership Skill That Most Project Managers Overlook

Pip Rudhall Hyett
May 23
4 min read

Updated: May 26

The Secret Leadership Skill That Most Project Managers Overlook

Project management is often defined by deliverables—timelines, budgets, milestones. But the projects that truly succeed, especially the complex or high-stakes ones, are shaped not by process alone, but by something far more human: emotional intelligence.

It’s the quality few talk about, but the one that underpins everything. Because the ability to sense, interpret, and respond to the dynamics in the room—that’s what moves projects forward when the plan no longer fits neatly on paper.

Leadership Is Listening

A while back, I was brought into a multi-agency programme to lead a newly created workstream—one they had, until now, not realised the critical importance of. The task ahead was massive: layers of complexity, competing agency priorities, and little shared understanding of what we were actually trying to build. The mood in the room was tense—defensive, mistrustful, and lacking any real collaboration.

I didn’t start with a new plan. I started with a conversation. I listened—without needing to solve right away. What emerged was a set of unspoken tensions: misaligned expectations, buried conflicts, and a lack of psychological safety in decision-making spaces.

Once those were acknowledged, people felt heard, trust started to build, and everything began to shift.

Reading the Room (And What’s Not Being Said)

Emotional intelligence in project leadership means being attuned to subtle cues. Body language. Hesitations. Energy shifts. It’s not about intuition alone—it’s about observation and care.

In one recent engagement, I was leading a stakeholder planning session for a cross-agency climate response strategy. As we moved through the agenda, I noticed a pattern: one team remained unusually quiet. Instead of pressing on, I paused the conversation, gently acknowledged those who hadn’t yet spoken, and invited the team to reflect—creating a safe space for honest input.

That moment of pause didn’t derail progress—it redefined it. From that point on, they became some of the strongest advocates for the work.

Building Confidence, Not Just Consensus

There’s a misconception that strong project leads are there to control the room. But more often, our job is to hold the room. To build confidence—not only in the plan, but in the people behind it.

This might look like:

Creating space for quieter voices
Validating uncertainty instead of rushing to fix it
Clarifying intent when tensions rise

You don’t need all the answers to lead well. You need presence, awareness, and the humility to lead alongside others.

Creating Cultures of Calm and Clarity

In every engagement I take on, I try to create what I call "calm clarity." It’s the combination of practical structure and emotional safety that lets people do their best thinking. When people feel calm, they’re more creative. When they feel clear, they’re more confident.

That culture starts with the project lead. If I show up rushed, disconnected, or overly directive, that energy sets the tone. But if I’m grounded, prepared, and responsive—that models something different.

Especially in Central Otago, where teams are often small and deeply interconnected, the emotional tone of a project matters even more. There’s no anonymity. Every interaction counts. That’s why I approach every engagement with care.

From Capital Programmes to Community Projects

My work in Wellington taught me a lot about policy complexity, political nuance, and cross-agency negotiation. But it also showed me that the most technical projects can still fall over if the relationships inside them aren’t strong.

That’s why in my current practice—supporting both local initiatives and national clients remotely—I lead with relational intelligence.

Whether I’m helping a council align its infrastructure vision, working with an iwi partner on early project scoping, or guiding a multi-disciplinary team through regulatory change—the same principle applies: people first, always.

Emotional Intelligence Is a Deliverable

It’s not a soft skill. It’s not an optional extra. It’s a core competency in complex project delivery.

It’s what helps:

Surface and defuse risk early
Strengthen stakeholder relationships
Navigate shifting goals without chaos
Support team wellbeing across the project lifecycle

I’ve seen projects double their speed—not because of a new tool, but because someone made space for a hard conversation. I’ve seen resistance turn into ownership—because a stakeholder felt truly heard.

And I’ve seen capable teams thrive—because their leader didn’t just manage their tasks, but cared about their experience.

What This Means for Central Otago Projects

Now based in Cromwell, I bring this people-first lens to every project I work on. Whether it’s a small planning initiative or a large infrastructure collaboration, I’m less interested in how polished the framework is, and more interested in how supported the people feel.

Because if we get that part right—everything else becomes easier.

So if you’re managing a project that’s stuck, stalling, or simply feels harder than it should, ask yourself:

Is there something emotional or relational we’ve overlooked?
Are people feeling seen, or just managed?
Do we need a circuit-breaker—someone to name what others might be avoiding?

If so, let’s talk. Because technical expertise will always matter. But in my experience, the secret skill that moves projects from good to great is something less obvious—and far more human.