When Strong Personalities Stall Your Project: Practical Ways to Get Progress Back on Track
- Pip Rudhall Hyett
- May 4
- 5 min read
When Strong Personalities Stall Your Project: Practical Ways to Get Progress Back on Track
When everyone has an opinion, and nothing moves
If you’ve ever led a project where everyone has something to say but no one will make a decision, you’ll recognise this: meetings that go in circles, emails full of “just one more thought,” and a delivery timeline that quietly slips into the distance.
In complex change, the problem usually isn’t a lack of smart people. It’s too many opinions and not enough structure for how those opinions turn into decisions and progress.
In this article, I’ll walk through practical ways to:
• Manage difficult stakeholders without burning bridges
• Work with strong personalities (not around them)
• Handle conflict inside project teams
• Deal with board-level conflict so your project can keep moving
These are written from the perspective of a people-first project manager who has worked across public sector, complex transformation, and multi-stakeholder environments in Aotearoa New Zealand.
How do you manage difficult stakeholders?
Most “difficult” stakeholders aren’t trying to derail your project; they’re trying to protect something important to them. Your job is to understand what that is and build the project around it where you can.
Practical steps:
Work out what “difficult” really means Is this stakeholder blocking decisions, questioning everything, or going quiet and then reappearing late in the process?
Each pattern needs a different response.
• The blocker often needs clearer decision rights and consequences.
• The nit-picker usually needs better information, earlier.
• The late reappearing stakeholder often never felt included in the first place.
Name their stake, not their behaviour
Instead of labelling someone “difficult,” identify their stake in the project: reputation, compliance, customer impact, political risk, staff workload. Once you can say, “Your key concern is X,” you can design options that speak directly to it.
Give them a defined role in decisions
Difficult stakeholders often sit in the grey area between “advising” and “approving.”
Clarify:
• What decisions they own
• What they influence
• What they are simply informed about
A simple RACI-style view, even sketched, can change the tone of every meeting.
Use structured conversations, not open debates
Replace open-ended “What do you think?” discussions with:
• “Here are three options, each with trade-offs.”
• “From your perspective, which risk worries you most and why?”
You’re channelling their energy into specific input, not an endless list of opinions.
Make impact visible
Show how their input has shaped the project. When people see their concerns addressed, they usually ease off the brakes.
How do you manage strong personalities?
Strong personalities can power your project forward or pull it completely off track. The key is harnessing their influence rather than fighting it.
Separate strength from dominance
Strong personalities are often direct, fast-thinking, and decisive. That’s incredibly useful. Problems arise when that strength becomes dominance, shutting down quieter voices and alternative ideas.
Set meeting rules that protect thinking time
Before workshops or governance meetings, set expectations:
• Everyone gets one uninterrupted minute for their view.
• We surface risks before we debate solutions.
• We close each item with a clear decision and owner.
This takes pressure off quieter contributors and stops strong voices from unconsciously taking over.
Use them as champions, not gatekeepers
Give strong personalities a visible, positive role:
• Sponsor for a particular workstream
• “Face” of a change for a specific group
• Escalation point when decisions stall
Position them as allies in momentum, not the final word on everything.
Address behaviour early and privately
If someone’s style is intimidating others, name it in a one-to-one conversation:
“In the last meeting, I noticed people stopped contributing after you spoke. I value your clarity, and I also need other voices in the room. Here’s what I’ll do in the next meeting, and here’s how you can help.”
You’re not criticising their personality; you’re inviting them into leadership.
How do you handle conflict in a project?
Conflict isn’t automatically a problem; hidden conflict is. Visible, well-facilitated conflict is usually where the best decisions live.
Distinguish task conflict from relationship conflict
Task conflict: different views on approach, scope, priorities. Healthy and needed.
Relationship conflict: frustration, blame, mistrust. This is what burns people out.
When things get heated, ask: “Is this about the work or about how we’re working together?”
Create a safe container for disagreement
Rather than letting conflict leak into email threads and corridor conversations, bring it into a structured space:
• Name the decision or issue.
• Ask each person to state their view, what they’re protecting, and what they’re willing to flex on.
• Summarise overlaps and differences, then move to options.
Use “AND” more than “BUT”
Language matters. Phrases like “You’re right but…” can trigger defensiveness. Try:
“You’re right that X matters, and we also need to consider Y.”
It sounds small, but it keeps people on the same side of the table.
Agree the decision rule upfront
Before the discussion starts, clarify:
• Is this a consensus, majority, or sponsor decision?
• What happens if we can’t agree today?
Conflict feels much less threatening when everyone knows how and when a call will be made.
How do you deal with board conflict?
Board conflict is uniquely intense because the stakes are high, the egos are real, and the time together is limited. You can’t “solve” it as the project manager—but you can stop it from paralysing your project.
Get clear on what the board is actually deciding
Many tense board discussions come from blurred lines between governance and management. Before a board meeting, clearly define:
• Decisions required at board level
• Key risks they must see
• Where you’re just updating for transparency
A tight, decision-focused paper is your best risk management tool.
Frame options, not a single recommendation.
When boards are divided, presenting one “take it or leave it” recommendation invites conflict.
Instead, present:
• Option A: Higher speed, higher risk, trade-offs clearly listed
• Option B: More conservative, slower, different trade-offs
Include what each option means for cost, time, reputation and people impact. Boards are more constructive when they have a structured choice.
Use pre-meetings strategically
If you know there’s tension, have short pre-conversations with key board members or the chair:
• Test language and framing
• Surface unspoken concerns
• Align on what “good” looks like for the meeting
The goal isn’t to pre-decide; it’s to avoid surprises that trigger defensive reactions in the room.
Protect your team from the drama
Board conflict can rattle delivery teams. Once the meeting is over, translate it for them:
• What was decided
• What hasn’t been decided yet
• What it means (and doesn’t mean) for the work in the next 4–6 weeks
Your team doesn’t need every detail of the politics. They need clarity and confidence.
Bringing it together: from opinions to progress
When you strip it back, handling difficult stakeholders, strong personalities and board conflict all hinge on the same things:
• Clear decision rights
• Structured conversations
• Respectful challenge
• Transparency about trade-offs
Too many opinions only stall your project when you treat every opinion as equal, unfiltered input into the decision.
Your role as a project leader is to create the container: who decides, what you’re deciding, and how you’ll move forward—even when not everyone agrees.
If you’re leading a complex project where stakeholder tension is high and momentum is slipping, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It usually means the work is meaningful, the stakes are real, and it’s time to upgrade how you’re holding the space for conflict and decision.
Click below to enquire about how I can help you and your team.
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